Oh marriage. Sometimes sweet, sometimes fun, sometimes frustrating, sometimes irritating… and always a lot of work. But don’t fret. Work is not necessarily a bad thing and actually when it comes to marriage, working on your relationship is essential. Recently, we had psychiatrist John Jacobs M.D. at the Ranch for a series of classes based on his book, All You Need is Love and Other Lies About Marriage. As someone who is in their first year of marriage, I happily and curiously went to this class! Is our marriage normal? Are the issues we have universal? One thing I learned before I went to this class from my other married friends is there’s no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship. It just doesn’t exist. There are always issues, small or large. And I think that’s something that all of us married folks (and unmarried for that matter) can relate to.
What I appreciate most about John’s class is his honesty about marriage in recent times. The fact is that today marriage is not essential in the ways it was before. Today, a woman doesn’t have to depend on a man for financial support, and a man doesn’t have to marry a woman based on society’s demands. So where does that leave us? These days, people get married primarily because they love each other (of course there are always other circumstances, but for the most part love is the reason.) Those of us that are married or who have been in long-term relationships know that it takes a lot more than just love to make a relationship work. So how can we make a relationship last when we know that the being “in love” feeling eventually fades? How do we stay connected in a loving way, get past our differences and hopefully create a long-lasting loving partnership?
In the video below you can hear from John himself, speaking about these issues in his interview with our Activities Director, Barry Shingle. John’s knowledge has left me with a few priceless lessons that I believe can be helpful for any marriage or relationship. Enjoy!